Porn has come a long way! You no longer have to make the trek to a seedy sex shop only to buy some overpriced, poorly produced video made with exclusively cisgender heterosexual couples. And you no longer have to relegate porn use to secret masturbation sessions.
Porn is far more inclusive and diverse now, and watching it with your partner can add spice to your sex life. Here’s why we think porn for couples is a win and how you can bring up your interest to your partner without making it awkward.
The Benefits of Watching Porn Together
Before you write the idea of porn for couples off, hear us out. We promise there are plenty of benefits (sexual satisfaction, anyone?), and science backs that up!
Make Movie Night Hot
How many of your most recent date nights have revolved around watching a movie? Be honest. The longer we’re with our partners, the harder it can be to find unique ideas that keep things fresh and exciting.
Erotica for couples is a fun way to make Netflix-and-chill night hot again. Plus, engaging in new experiences with your partner has been proven to help you feel more connected and increase sexual intimacy in your relationship.
Increase Communication
Although it may seem strange, exploring any new avenues of life alongside your partner can increase your level of communication. Communication really is the heart of the relationship, and opening up about your innermost desires and fantasies is a great way to foster that.
Remember, you and your partner are in this together. Don’t be your own worst enemy; give your partner a chance to surprise you.
If you’re feeling awkward about talking to your partner about wanting to watch porn, why not send them a text message or leave them a note? While you still need to have the conversation face-to-face, this can open it up in a less vulnerable way. Plus, sexting can be hot.
Role-Play Together
The point of viewing porn with your partner isn’t just sitting back and enjoying other people having sex; it should encourage you to do it too. Watch a movie together as foreplay, and then role-play what you saw.
Think of it as inspiration to find new ways to pleasure each other, allowing you to let go more than usual. We love role-play to help couples bond, and exploring new roles can help you build self-confidence and discover new things.
Live Out Erotic Fantasies
Ultimately, porn for couples lets you open the door to some of your most erotic fantasies and sexual desires. We all have them!
Just because you’re a married couple or in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you can’t keep sexually exploring together; that’s the spice of life that keeps relationships feeling new even decades later. Use plenty of lube and enjoy the passionate sex that can come from finally opening up about what you like.
And even if you don’t re-enact what you see in the videos, watching someone do sexual acts that turn you on can be super steamy. Eventually, it may inspire you to try it in real life.
Where To Find Porn Videos for Couples
There are plenty of places to find free porn sites and apps nowadays, and we’re almost spoiled for choice. A quick web search can help you find options, or you can invest in a paid subscription to a porn website that caters to what you’re both interested in.
If you’re into it, there’s probably porn out there that features it. And if you’re tired of the same fake-orgasm, bang-it-out style of heterosexual kind of porn, do not fear. More than ever, sites are popping up made by femmes with the femme gaze in mind (ethical porn) — think slow, hot, real sex.
Research Erotic Films Together
Not all porn for couples has to be actual “porn,” though. There are plenty of erotic films out there that qualify more as romantic porn, where it’s about the actual connection between the couples just as much as the sex.
Researching them together can be half the fun! Choosing an erotic film over a video with a real couple can also help ease you into watching porn together.
How To Watch Porn Together
Easy — you just choose a video and put it on, right? Not so fast! If it’s your first time, we’ve got some tips to make your experience go smoothly.
Ease Into It
Communication is crucial in a relationship, so going from zero to 100 without any discussion can be super jarring for your partner. Easing into watching porn together helps ensure everyone is comfortable without making it awkward.
Although it may seem fun to surprise your partner with porn, they may not react as you expect. Always talk to them and get their consent first, then start with a relatively mild video before moving on to the more hardcore or fetish porn (if that’s your thing). Consent is essential (and sexy).
It’s also an excellent idea to talk to your partner about what happens if one of you feels uncomfortable while watching it — do you have a safe word? Is there a way to easily express your discomfort without hurting your partner’s feelings?
Make sure they know there are no expectations on how they react or what happens during or after watching it. Low stakes, high reward!
Talk About It
Have we driven home the importance of communication yet? In addition to talking to your partner about wanting to watch porn together before putting it on, use it as a tool to help you open a conversation about any specific kinks or interests you have.
It can help make the discussion far less uncomfortable than having to sit down with them and tell them you’re into rough sex or have a foot fetish. New experiences can sometimes bring up unexpected emotions, and some people may find it difficult to see their partner get aroused by someone else.
Remember, these feelings are completely normal, but be open with your partner about how you’re feeling. It’s also a great idea to sit down and talk to your partner after watching porn — and hopefully bring each other to multiple orgasms.
Choose Together
While there’s an element of introducing your partner to what you’re into, choosing porn together helps to build trust and communication. The conversation about which porn to choose can also help you discover more about what you and your partner have in common.
Picking out what porn to watch also helps you and your partner feel more comfortable and in control, instead of just having one partner make all the decisions. Making decisions about porn together IRL can increase your communication in other areas too.
Take Turns
Once you’ve gotten more comfortable exploring porn together, take turns picking them out. Discuss your boundaries and turn-offs ahead of time to make sure everyone is enjoying the videos, though.
Taking turns gives you a little more freedom to explore different kinks and styles of porn. You might even see your partner have an a-ha moment where they learn more about you.
When you can get to this place comfortably, many people find it super hot to watch their partner get turned on by something in a new way. It can lead to the best sex of your life!
Takeaways
Watching porn as a couple isn’t just for hookups or young couples; everyone can enjoy the boost of excitement watching porn can bring to a relationship. Don’t spring it on your partner, though.
Always make sure to have a discussion beforehand and get consent. Sex should be fun, but it should also be equal and connect you and your partner even closer when you’re done. Don’t settle for anything less.
Sources:
Self-expansion and flow in couples' momentary experiences: an experience sampling study | PubMed
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